A Poem by Jillian - Age 16
A Young Girl’s Prayer
Breathing quickly with anticipation, I pulled my knees up to my chin
And cover shivering legs with my flowered nightgown.
I am huddled on the bottom bunk of my tall, red bed-
For once alone from all members of my family.
I evaluate the thick volume waiting at my side,
its wisdom overwhelming me.
Thoughts of its hero, the beautiful,
wrathful deity confound my small mind.
“Trust me and live; deny me and perish”,
the choice appears simple enough,
For what young child cherishes the idea of eternal death?
I murmur a plea taught to me nearly from birth.
“Please forgive me my sins: my hitting my sister and
Lying to my mother and everything else I can’t think of.
Make me clean and holy so I don’t have to die forever
And please become the master of my life.”
With what uneducated sobriety I recited the prayer!
Sincere as a corrupt politician – whole-heartedly seeking personal gain,
Never imagining the earth shattering reality of what I had said.
My words were aimed at the ever-after, at the storybook God
That I had read of, who I assumed to be lifeless or far away.
Could my mind then have fathomed that,
Rather than being absent, I was then engulfed by the same presence?
How could I have known that, instead of formally committing
To a mere religion, I was confirming the greatest friendship
I would ever have?
A friendship so solemn it was initiated with pure human blood.
As I sat in the quiet, just a small girl, seemingly all by herself,
No-one looking in could have imagined the treaty
which had just been signed
How I willingly and unwittingly gave away my right to choose
My priorities, my entertainment, my source of happiness.
I surrendered the biggest battle I would ever fight,
practically before it began,
Agreeing to try (and often fail) to do the one thing I was created for;
I consented to love the LORD with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength.
To rebel against my unknown desire to ruin my own happiness.
I would spend the rest of my days consenting to love and be loved
By the true source of love. My life would be his.
Amen